Where Words Fail

I never thought I would find this place. This place where the smooth utterances that exit my lips have no meaning. The place where words don't go anywhere past the ceiling. It feels like all is crushing in this place. It is the box with no holes for me to breathe in that sweet God given air. Why do they do this? Why do You put me through this? What have I done to deserve this? Why is there this pain? Why do you deprive me of this air? I do not understand you ways. I never will. Realizing this is killing me slowly. Why can I not know? Is this why my words are running low? Is this why you leave me alone? Why? I want to know.


I'm not supposed to know. That is the mystery of life. Sometimes you have to realize you will never know somethings. But still I ask why are my words worth nothing? Words used to get me everywhere. But now I realize that there is so much more to say with a hug or a tear or a laugh or a sweet embrace than with a sentence. Sometimes I speak just to make sure I'm alive. Sometimes I just want to hear my own voice. When will this ever stop? Why can't I find the happy medium? Am I the only one that hurts? Am I the only one who feels this pain? I look around and everyone seems peachy. Why then am I in the corner? Why is this happening. People tell me I'm a sinner. And I am. People say I'm a pagan. They say I've gone off the edge. They say all these things. How come there is power in their words and not mine? I tell you something, even though I don't feel it that often, my words have power. My story needs to be told. As does yours.