When I was a little girl, I thought that I was a princess. My daddy told me so. I believed him. He said he was the king and that all my friends were the people that lived in the kingdom. He then sat me down and told me that I could be anyone I wanted to be. Back then I listened to him but nothing really came out of it. I just took it as his words and then went and played in the dirt some more.
When I was thirteen, I started to feel left out. We had moved and I literally didn't know anyone. By this time, me and Jesus were pretty good. He was one of my very few friends that I could go to at any time. I knew he was there when everyone was. I made a few real friends, but they were all older. Whenever I was around girls, all they would talk about would be boys or makeup or things of that nature. I wanted to go get dirty and take stuff apart to see how it worked. Once again my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
When I was sixteen, I started to feel pretty lonely. I only had a few really good friends. I was in my awkward stage and in retrospect I looked like a train wreck. I was driving legally now and was excited to go racing. I still didn't really fit in. And I couldn't blame them. The main friends I had were male. Go figure. I would look around and see everyone with their friends sitting at their tables, talking and laughing. I wanted that. I didn't know what I wanted to do with life. I decided I would go on my own expedition to try and find out. Once again, like a broken record, my parents told me I could do anything I wanted to do, as long as I set my mind to it.
When I was eighteen, I just got into college. I was going through arguments and doubts with God. I decided to look at all religions to see what they had to offer. I look around at my other friends. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to know that love that they had. I wanted to be happy like them. I got engaged, thinking I found that love. It was not true love though. Things happen in life. You have to put on your big girl panties and just deal with it. People started to be more accepting. Unlike high school, these people didn't like you just because of your social economic status. They like you for you. If you don't make the cut, you are not accepted into the circle. I still wasn't content. I wanted to be happy and in love like most of my friends. I came in wanted to do business, but then changed to engineering. My parents were mostly accepting of this and still told me that I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Now I will say later on when I was twenty, I can say that I have these things now. I might not know exactly what I want to do with the rest of my life, but I have a general idea. I know that I'm loved, not only by a savior, but by my friends around me. They love me for me. And if you are one of those people reading this, I feel blessed to have you in my life. <3 I now believe my parents. I can be anything I want to be. Even if that means being the first psychology person to integrate calculus.
