I think this is one of my roughest weeks to date. Everything has popped up. I have three tests, two quizzes and a paper due this week. The only thing I'm excited about is about the end of the week. But, on a good note, I got rid of a paper, a quiz and a test today. Being the dorky person that I am, I did something kinda weird. On my cognitive psych test, I could not remember for the life of me anything to do with Thorndike. So, being the complete geek that I am, I did a calculus problem on the back of my test. (The volume of a rotating shape to be exact.) I can just imagine what my professor is going to say.

On another note, much more sadder than before, I've been feeling really crappy. I'm pretty sure I let another great thing in my life go. Twice in my life I have experienced love. Twice in my life I have pushed it out of my life. They might have been for good reasons, but I still regret these decisions in a way. I wish that I could fix some of these things. But I need to go on. I have to be strong. I don't need a man always beside me. I have one. Granted he doesn't walk with me or talk audioably, but he is always with me. It might just be me. I mean, I'm not exactly one that welcomes love into my life with open arms. I'm always just considered one of the guys. I'm never the girl they want to date. And whynot? Why can't I be that girl that you can sit down and watch the game with? Why can't I be the girl that helps you work on your hidden Chevelle that is sitting in your garage? (sorry, its just the way I was raised) Why can't I be the one that sits by your side when you go fishing for hours? I'm that girl to begin with. Why can't I find a guy that appreciates me for me and will respect me for that?

I would love to find someone like that. I'm sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings by posting this, but it is simply the way the cookie crumbles. I would like to make it work. I have been around some amazing guys (single, yes) that I would love to date. The thing is that they are either gay, taken or oblivious to the fact that I have an interest in them. Good job guys. In their defense, I am quite a complicated girl. Because I have been raised primarily by a man, I am much like a guy. I have more guy friends than girls. (most times because I can't take the drama) I like to do "guy" stuff.

A break from that crap. I've been learning a lot more about life due to my psych classes. I love how people are defining things. I love how my professors talk about life and how the mind works and how to help people during different situations or stages in life. It really is astounding how complicated how the mid is. I know you didn't come to my blog to learn about psychology, but here it is. You should see where we come from. Not all of our workings has to do with someone laying on a couch and us asking them "And how does that make you feel?" We are so much more than that. You are so much more than that. My professor gave some key definitions that I am going to have to show on the test tomorrow morning. A couple of my favorites are as follows.
Purpose - the courage to envision and pursue goals guided by conscience without being paralyzed by guild or fear of punishment.
Wisdom - an active detached concern with life in the face of death.
Despair - signified by fear of death, not being happy with what you have done in life.
How amazing is that? I mean seriuosly.